I originally published this post back in 2015, before the injury I struggled with for over a year. In rereading my 2015 post, I realized that while it still rings true, my perspective has changed a bit, and I felt that it needed updated. 

Why do you run so much? Ask my students, my family, my friends. I shrug and give the simple answer: I run so much because I love it.

But my true reasons for running are deeper, and many. When people ask that question, they don’t really want my entire answer. But if they did, here’s what I’d say:

I run so much because I love it. I love the challenge of a hard training run or race: the fire in my legs, the ache in my lungs, the bile in my throat, all telling me that I’m giving it my all, that no matter the outcome, when the run is over and I collapse, I can be satisfied, knowing that I stretched my limits as far as I could.

I love the euphoria following a win, and in a strange way, I love the despair following a loss — because it’s the losses that teach me, that make me analyze my weaknesses, that inspire me to work harder and come back fitter, stronger, faster than before.

I love the hard efforts, especially after an injured hamstring kept me running easy for months. But in some ways, that injury made me appreciate the easy runs even more. After being sidelined for weeks, running at all, no matter how slowly or sporadically, felt like meeting an old friend — the kind of friend who loves you and accepts you no matter how long you’ve been apart or how much has changed. While healthy, I’d taken for granted the easy runs, but returning from injury reminded me that nothing brings me peace like the serenity of a quiet early-morning run, bathed by the light of the rising sun, serenaded by the first birds of morning. Evening runs are special, too: the day’s stress melts away with the sweat, and as the miles tick away,  my mental storm clouds clear. Running helps me put my world in perspective. In both a figurative and the most literal sense, running keeps me grounded.

I love the places running has taken me, from literal places — exploring a new city while travelling or moving,  discovering trail running and the beauty it brings — to mental journeys — pushing through a hard race to hit a once-impossible PR, slogging through crummy weather.

Running has always been my alone time, my chance to regroup and calm the chatter in my head. But running also gives me a social outlet, a chance to meet similar-minded friends, a way to connect without my usual awkward shyness. Running helped me meet people after we moved. It connects me with trail runners more experienced than I. And running brought me a sisterhood in the form of the Skirt Sports community. The solo runs are wonderful, but I’ve learned that running with others creates a bond unlike any other.

It doesn’t matter if I’m running trails — the mountains, the streams, the wildlife, the uneven terrain keeping me from obsessing about pace and holding me in the moment — or if I’m running roads — the pavement pressing against my feet, my lungs burning, the miles passing faster and faster– or even if I’m running on the treadmill, zoning out to mindless television and playing mental games. Wherever I am, running is my happy place, my stress-relief, my alone time, my friend-maker, my self-awareness enhancer. And I love it.

That is why I run so much.

For the last couple of years, I’ve forgone New Year’s resolutions in favor of the “one word” concept. Last year’s word was “stability,” and, as I wrote in my 2017 wrap-up post,  I feel like I made some progress with stability in my life last year. Over the last few weeks, as I looked ahead to 2018, choosing my one word was easy, as it’s something I’ve been lacking in the last year and a half since we moved back to the Front Range.

My one word for 2018, then, is “Connect.” Making new friends and deeper-than-work connections has been tough for me. I know this isn’t just a “me” issue — articles like this one and this one have popped up several time on sites I follow — and I know there isn’t an overnight solution, but that connection piece is missing in my life right now, and this year, I want to remedy that.

I also want to work on retaining and strengthening my existing relationships. Too often, I’ve gone without talking to my friends and family because I’m “so busy,” and I want to prioritize the people I care about.

As an introvert, I know that meeting this goal might be hard at times. It will mean saying “yes” to invites that I’d normally turn down because I won’t know anyone, or they’re for a weeknight, or whatever. It will mean extending invitations that might get turned down, and it will mean putting myself in situations outside my comfort zone. But the rewards (I hope) will be worth it.

What’s your New Year’s Resolution/goal(s)/word?

Any tips for making friends as a thirty-something without kids?

Every time I blog, I promise to post more regularly… and yet, this last gap between posts may be the biggest yet. I thought this school year would be better than last, now that I’ve been at my “new” school for over a year, but I’m still often drowning in a sea of grading, planning, and most of all, meetings. So. Many. Meetings.

That’s all, of course, just an excuse for not writing more. I need to prioritize it. But I started this post not to make excuses, but to update whatever readers I may still have, so here goes:

Running

Slowly but surely, I’m feeling more like myself all the time. I’m back to 5-6 runs a week and got up to a 14-mile long run last weekend. I’m even running a half marathon tomorrow. When I got injured (read: finally admitted I was injured) and couldn’t run the Skirt Sports 13er, 3W Races let me transfer to another of their events: the Westy Half in Westminster. My recovery has been slow, and I’ve done no speed work for over a year, so my time will not be fast (for me), but that’s okay. It’ll feel good just to be out there.

I’ve been working with Jennifer Watson of Watson Wellness in Fort Collins, and I credit her with getting my running back to almost-normal. If you’re looking for a physical therapist in Northern Colorado, I can’t recommend her highly enough. I’m still seeing her once a month or so, and she’s helping to keep my body functioning.

I also need to acknoweldge that my strength training has been lacking. I think I need to rejoin a gym, as I’m just not doing the at-home stuff I should be, and even when I do, I don’t have heavy weights at home. Especially when it’s cold, I tend to run, come home, and get straight into the warm shower. I’m thinking that if I pay for a gym membership, I’ll be more likely to make myself go lift some weights. I’m looking at Anytime Fitness, since there’s one five minutes from my school and one being built about 1.5 miles from my house. Anybody know about Anytime? Are they worth the money?

Races

I’m starting to feel healthy enough to make longer-term racing plans. I’d really like to BQ again and head back to Boston in 2019, which means I need to run a spring marathon. I’m thinking Colfax in May; I did it once, years ago, liked it, and said I’d be back, but I haven’t run it since. My concern is the time that marathon training takes, which sounds crazy. I used to teach, train hard, and go to grad school. I don’t know if I’m really that much busier at this job or if I’m just out of the habit of scheduling long training sessions. I guess I’ll just have to make it a priority and get ‘er done!

Other races I’m thinking about this winter/spring are the Yeti Chase in January, the Loveland Sweetheart Classic in February, and the Horsetooth Half in April. Those are all tentative, and we’ll just have to see how my fitness, budget, and calendar all work together to make them happen!

Life

Nothing all that exciting has been happening life-wise, just teaching and boring adult-type stuff. A couple of highlights, though:

• Volunteering with Running Start.

  

  

  This charity pairs women who want to start running but have significant obstacles with women who have been running for a while, and they train for a 5k together. While my beginner got injured and couldn’t run the CSU Homecoming 5k (the graduation race), I still went, ran a bit with every pair, cheered at the end, and left proud and inspired. I definitely want to volunteer with Running Start again next year!

• Fall hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park
  
  A few weeks ago, on Jordan’s birthday weekend, we spent a day hiking in Rocky and playing in Estes Park. The colors were popping, the elk were bugling, and the day was beautiful; we thoroughly enjoyed our much-needed day away.

And that’s my life lately in a nutshell, I think. I will, for real this time, have some posts up more regularly; I’ve got a pair of tights I need to review and will have a race report up for Westy.

It’s good to be back in the blog world. Let me know what you’ve been up to!